You know that word we use in our vows every year. This wish that we express almost as if it were something inaccessible, a dream. Our parents taught us, for many, that life is hard, that putting happiness aside to succeed and be accepted in this world will help us. That it is a luxury we cannot afford to have. Far be it from me to blame them :). It was the paradigm of their time. Happiness is something that may therefore seem utopic to us while for others, the search for it has become a life goal.
Happiness is not a goal to be achieved. It is a philosophy of life. YES. A way of looking at life, in fact. Easy to say ? Maybe it’s a lot less complicated than you imagine ! Well then : what’s the recipe ? I share with you 20 ways to be happier every day. And to start with… Here are 10 tips !!
#1 Take care of yourself
Be “selfish”, your priority must be YOU. When I say this, it doesn’t mean jumping on your little nephew’s best piece of cake at his birthday party ! It’s not about satisfying your greed ;). It’s about CHOOSING you. By giving you breaks, silence, cocooning moments to recharge your batteries. Learn to take care of your head and body. By giving you this time, you will leave less room for that mind that talks to you all the time saying things like “Hey you there! Don’t you just stand there and do nothing ! You’ve got to do this, you’ve got to do that, and faster than that, and better than that!” BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. It may seem paradoxical to you but believe me, a freak mind like me, it’s ULTRA efficient. Indeed, in addition to the well-being you will feel, you will gain height, you will know how to reprioritize what is important and, icing on the cake, you will gain in efficiency in the tasks you really have to do :).
#2 Do what you love
It seems pretty obvious at first glance but ask yourself the following question: do you do things that you like ? An activity ? A sport ? In your job ? How often ? It is important for your well-being to do something you enjoy every day. If you don’t know what you like to do, ask yourself for real : what do I like ? What brings me joy ? What gives me energy ? Search, the answer is within you :).
#3 Choose your surroundings
Surround yourself with people who mean well and inspire you. When you are with someone, ask yourself how you really feel with them, deep down inside. How do you feel emotionally ? Let your antennae grow ;). What kind of energy comes out when you are with them ? How does your body react ? Be true to yourself and your life will change around you because you will have changed inside. Don’t ask yourself what you think of this person or what you expect from this person or how you would like this person to consider you in order to achieve a certain goal that you have imposed on yourself – yes, lots of us do that – . Ask yourself : do you really love these people ? Wasn’t what you expected was to be loved by these people? Perhaps it was ultimately about… ego issues? – the naughty one ! It always comes back !! -. Listen to your heart, ask yourself what kind of people you wish to be with :).
#4 Laugh !
You must have heard it often: laughing is the best remedy for depression! The best I don’t know, but it’s very effective in getting you out of a negative state quickly, oh yes it does ! “OK, but how do we do that if I don’t feel like laughing?”. Taratata. Remember step #3: surround yourself with people who make you feel good. What does it mean ? Choose positive, fun people with whom you have fun ;). And if not, try Laughter Yoga! Yes, forced laughter works too!
#5 Be grateful
Why being grateful? Gratitude is a very powerful feeling. Allowing yourself to feel it can literally change your perception of things, and in a very positive way! Take a look at your life, look at the situation you are living. There are always positive things around you: a relative who is listening, a friend who is there for you. Only you have the power to see what you want to see: so, will you choose to see the glass half full or half empty?
#6 Give thanks
Verbalize your gratitude to the other, he cannot know all the things that are going on in your head – and thank God ! 😉 -, he too can have his filters, his own interpretations. Communicate your gratitude and your relationships will benefit just as much!
In order to move forward and continue to meet the challenges that life puts in our path, it is necessary to be attentive to what is happening around us and to follow the flow. To do this, be curious and cultivate your curiosity. Keep on learning new things, this will foster your creative spirit which will be useful in all your projects! Everything is so easily accessible today on the internet! You can find very rich content free of charge everywhere – not everything is good to take, it’s all about knowing how to sort it out – . Set yourself goals, take on new challenges!
#8 There are no problems, only solutions !
Don’t get stuck in front of obstacles. Even if they seem insurmountable. If climbing them is too much of an effort today, choose another angle. Take the bias problem, try a different approach, be creative – See step #7 😉 – . YOU CAN DO IT !
#9 Never give up !
In front of a lasting obstacle, don’t give up. Even if you feel like you’ve tried everything. Give yourself time to regain your strength. Raise your head, gain height. Why do you think it hasn’t worked so far? Look for the answer in depth. Use the 5 whys method – even 7 or more if necessary! -. Follow through with your projects, just to boost your own self-esteem!
#10 Be present in the present
Do you know the “aaah… it was better before!” or the “Rhaaa… I can’t wait to get out of here so I can be happy!” Sounds familiar? Consciously or not, we tend to live in the past or in the projection of a better future life. But the present, as its name suggests, is a gift :). There is nothing more true than what is happening right now, true or not? The past is only a memory and the future does not yet exist and it may never exist as you have imagined. In short, it’s a bit of science fiction after all! All this to say that it’s better to know how to live and savour the present moment. Why is that? So that you don’t risk missing out on people or opportunities that life puts in your path! Yes, sir!
Did these 10 tips make you want to learn more about other levers for living a happy life?
Photo credits: Caju Gomes, Lidya Nada, Josh Felise, Amy Shamblen, Courtney Hedger, Ben White and Mark Adriane @unsplash
Founder of happyethics.com