A question I’ve been asking to myself every single night once gotten into bed. When not thinking or should I say, ruminating about work. And this happened when I turned 30. More precisely, it started a few years ago when I realized I was about to turn 30.
The turning point
When I had my 30th birthday, it was a bit harsh for me. I was getting ‘old’ or more precisely, I was a grown-up. In my head, I was supposed to be accomplished and fulfilled. I had set goals to myself : I wanted to do something useful, something for mankind, the world. Not for the little benefit of a company to which the single objective was to make money – like most of them yes indeed ! -. On top of that I was in a bad place at that time, lost and confused. Or maybe it was caused by the thought of failing to achieve these goals I set all by myself. But from the outside, I was doing quite well in my new job : I was a successful consultant, really appreciated from my clients, managing a small team who enjoyed working with me, who I guided and coached. I had my company, my boss on my side. But I felt like my life was somehow slipping away from me. That I was undergoing my life rather than having the control of it.
So, every night until recently I’ve been struggling to fall asleep.
I was wondering what to do, what was really making me happy in life – by the way you can read my article about this topic right here 🙂 – . Like this very night, where I opened my laptop in the middle of the night, starting to write this article… What triggered this ? I had a talk with my girl friends few days ago and I realized that we were all facing the same issues : we were unhappy with our way to make a living, knowing that it was consuming us but we didn’t know the way out. Because we have always been taught that to survive in this world, you have to work hard to earn a living – a decent one – and fit the bill. At all times. So most of my friends have stuck to it, as I. Since today.
Little thought about ‘this generation’
One thing we all know for sure is what we want no more. ‘Our’ generation is a lot criticized. I’m not sure to know why. I will try this hypothesis : our generation and the coming ones are maybe different. More aware of what’s going on around us. More sensitive. Should I dare saying more awake ? Not all of us are yet but lots of us are and the number is growing up fast day by day 🙂 We do care.
What brings me back from the dark was an action I decide to take one day : setting up 4 workshops on ecology to bring awareness to my colleagues. It was a very busy work period and I remembered that I was blaming myself for putting up that much pressure on myself while I was overwhelmed by work. But you know what ?
There is never a good time
It will never be the right time because you will always have plenty of things to manage professionally, in your couple and/or your family, your children, your circle of friends or even yourself. In fact, it’s the opposite : it is always the right time, at all time ! Try to look at your priorities. I mean, the real ones. The ones that really matter to you. That is what I did, this time. Ok that period was quite harsh, but you know what ? I did it. Not only was I proud to myself, but it also opened doors for me. Even if there was no apparent direct connection between what I did and what was about to happen.
So. What I got from that action was unbelievable. Truly.
Something happened after getting myself into action. Indeed, my life goals changed : I understood that taking care of others was not what I needed first. What I needed was taking care of myself, my couple, my family, my friendships. My life actually. I’ve been working so much the past 5 years without even noticing it until now. Jeopardizing my health – I had the weirdest health conditions things during the past years ! And it was simply happening more and more but hopefully nothing too serious nor permanent ! Ok except for the little degradation of my vision which is the results of having worked until late at night fighting with spreadshit data on a laptop for a while… Just don’t do this !
A fresh start
So I realized that I needed to take my life back and that I have the right to claim for it, that I deserve this. Somehow I was able to hear the little voice inside me saying :
Stand up for yourself. If you do not, no one else will. Be brave.
What I wanted the most was to get a job in my very hometown, where I’m living now. Few weeks later, I received a phone call from a colleague saying that she was quitting her job – god ! the job that I wanted ! – and her position was vacant. Making it short, I got the job. I GOT THE JOB. I-GOT-THE-JOB. Oh my god !
On top of that, do you remember what I wanted the most ? Getting a position in my hometown. So that I can have an actual life before and after work – and over lunch too ! -. Will you believe me if I say that this new position was in my hometown ? A mile from home. I could walk from the office back home. Quite incredible in Paris area where the daily home-to-work commute is above 1 hour !
Anything is possible
My conclusion is the following : as long as you believe in yourself, everything can happen in your life. Good or bad things. It is actually up to you. Rely on yourself and have faith that life will help you out. But you got to make the first move. Don’t wait for it to fall into your lap. Take the lead. Be the actors of your life. I know how it can be hard when you are in lethargic state. I was in that state in 2018, all year long. Yes it was the longest year of my life and thank god I had the best man by my side I could ever hope for during that time. Believe me. To help you out along this journey, I can share with you few humble advice that worked for me :
1- Surround yourself with people who love you, truly !
2- Find all the things that you like to do, things that matter to you
3- Do those as much as possible, if you don’t have time for it, take it
4- Be kind to yourself but make it a priority to get yourself out of this state
5- Congratulate yourself for every baby steps that you accomplish
6- Be grateful for what you already have 🙂 – for me it was my man and my caring family –
Trust me, trust this process and I am sure you will see positive changes in your life. Why is this working ? I explain it by the law of attraction which I believe in now. Want to know more about it ? I’ll tell you all about it in a future article !!
I really hope this article will help you out. If you have been through this and want to share it, please leave your comments below 🙂
Photo credits Pexels, Pixabay and Unsplash
Founder of happyethics.com